Hello! I’m back with another letter. For you SNM fans out there, I sought inspiration from my first and favorite 1:1 that made me turn red under my mask. I wanted to dissect that delicious fizzy feeling in my head: brave, confused, excited, surprised, hopeful? If you know, you know. This has nothing to do with the show, but if you’ve ever been, I hope it conjures images of High Street and beyond.
I want to be considerate of anyone who’s reading so I’m going to be overly sensitive with trigger warnings. Please note TW: sensuality + macabre themes below.
I fear passion may be my eventual demise. Make no mistake, I refuse to give it up. But my willingness to be vulnerable, to tailor my world to only partake of the things that bring me joy...like you...could be my downfall. Am I gluttonous for wanting to live this way?
Should I be so lucky that you take up residence inside me: where would you choose to live?
My body, the physical manifestation of desire. Knowing I would touch you exactly the way you like, hold and feel your curvature intertwine with mine. My touch lighting you up from the inside. Crack open my rib cage and make your bed. Would you like that?
Would you prefer to take my mind, my sole purpose in life to do as you say. To bewitch me so that nothing and no one else mattered. You make the rules I follow.
Or my heart. I'm afraid it's perplexing to sum up what this does to a person but I'll do my best. Imagine a great pyre burning in my chest. A yearning, insatiable desire to prove my worth. That no one else could possibly please you the way I do. Fanning the flames when you are near, destroying anything or anyone that gets in my way.
Add them to the pile. I hope you understand.
I dream of your mind wandering to me. My hands wouldn't need to hold you, my eyes tell you exactly what to do. My lips wouldn't need to touch you, my words alone would leave you salivating. Grant me command and I promise...you would forever and always be satisfied. But could you ever love me?
Choose wisely, I am yours.
Just know...
When I was young, I fell in love with a butterfly. All I wanted was to hold her close, appreciate her beauty and talk to her. I loved her too much. When she finally landed in my hand, I held her tight to caress and surround her with my love.
I broke both wings.
Do you ever fear for your life? Are you willing to take a chance.
Does it excite you to think about the power I could have? Or what you could take.
Will you ruin me?
What do you see when you look into my eyes. What do you know of me?
Do you only see one side, the pretty bits, and hide away the rest. Will you take the pain, the hurt, the sadness along with the good.
Would you love ME? Or simply the idea.
I don't think I'd be able to tell. That scares me.
If I could just take you away, no illusions or distractions, maybe you could see the real me.
A moonlit walk through the cemetery, lay under the stars with me.
Rest your head on my chest and listen.
See me. Please see ME. I'm afraid you control what happens next.